boring night

the final timetable of my third year first semester,

which it is just on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday,

of course it is very pack in a day,

but have a deep thinking what should I do during the 4 days ''holiday''.

to be correct,

I should work hard on how to make my FYP to be better in quality and not last minutes work,

but obviously,

I don't have much mood on it.

nowadays I realize that the moment I log in this blog is because I am very boring.

I don't have any reason to make me go to bed earlier since no class on Friday.

I don't have mood to continue my drama and just want to listen some musics to let me feel free.

I don't have the motive on my any works,

honestly,

I seem like sick on the society's stuffs,

can be said as I don't have a big push to be so active in it,

but of course I can't,

I need to settle things inside and tried to let everything move faster and I can retired earlier.

in this campus,

ya,

they are so many newbies that will let people to feel interest to have a look on them,

I will agree on this if I am still in first or second year,

but now I am in third year and don't have the energy and less interest in meeting new friends,

I will be glad if I am always in good relation with my course mates and some campus mates.

I don't mind if I am always alone in room or walking alone to attend lectures,

this is the inner me that don't like people disturb me,

I very OK with this because I really enjoy the moment,

there were people always ask me why walking alone to attend lectures or anywhere else,

not I don't have friends to walk together,

just I don't like to let people wait for me or vise versa,

an adult what for need to wait or to be waited and walk together to attend lectures,

I really don't understand,

maybe some of them need partners all along or some are so need to talk with friends no matter anytime, anywhere,

but definitely not me.

my this so-called-unfriendly attitude will just appeared in my personal life,

will not happened in class or in any public places,

I will talk whatever in class with no boundaries but not too over.

I miss my boy badly although I am just at here for not a month time,

but every time when I am so mean to express my anger or my unwilling feeling,

I will always think of someone who forced to separate with each other because of education,

I am just that few months but they are waiting for years,

so I will control myself and not to be greedy,

everything will be fine after all.

everyone miss someone,

so do the person also that missing each other no matter families or partner,

so have to try not to make the self feeling and complained it in one shot,

in the end,

not just you getting down,

the person who heard it also will got hurt,

how sad is it.

I apologize here to my boy on what I had did,

my temper keep changing make you so hard to stable me back,

just the words of mine heard so wrong but you also know I never mean it,

I always say sorry not because I really did something wrong,

is I scared I accidentally make or said wrong suddenly,

I am so care of you every time,

just my the way express might be weird or different only.

p/s: thanks and I love you. :)