boring night

the final timetable of my third year first semester,

which it is just on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday,

of course it is very pack in a day,

but have a deep thinking what should I do during the 4 days ''holiday''.

to be correct,

I should work hard on how to make my FYP to be better in quality and not last minutes work,

but obviously,

I don't have much mood on it.

nowadays I realize that the moment I log in this blog is because I am very boring.

I don't have any reason to make me go to bed earlier since no class on Friday.

I don't have mood to continue my drama and just want to listen some musics to let me feel free.

I don't have the motive on my any works,

honestly,

I seem like sick on the society's stuffs,

can be said as I don't have a big push to be so active in it,

but of course I can't,

I need to settle things inside and tried to let everything move faster and I can retired earlier.

in this campus,

ya,

they are so many newbies that will let people to feel interest to have a look on them,

I will agree on this if I am still in first or second year,

but now I am in third year and don't have the energy and less interest in meeting new friends,

I will be glad if I am always in good relation with my course mates and some campus mates.

I don't mind if I am always alone in room or walking alone to attend lectures,

this is the inner me that don't like people disturb me,

I very OK with this because I really enjoy the moment,

there were people always ask me why walking alone to attend lectures or anywhere else,

not I don't have friends to walk together,

just I don't like to let people wait for me or vise versa,

an adult what for need to wait or to be waited and walk together to attend lectures,

I really don't understand,

maybe some of them need partners all along or some are so need to talk with friends no matter anytime, anywhere,

but definitely not me.

my this so-called-unfriendly attitude will just appeared in my personal life,

will not happened in class or in any public places,

I will talk whatever in class with no boundaries but not too over.

I miss my boy badly although I am just at here for not a month time,

but every time when I am so mean to express my anger or my unwilling feeling,

I will always think of someone who forced to separate with each other because of education,

I am just that few months but they are waiting for years,

so I will control myself and not to be greedy,

everything will be fine after all.

everyone miss someone,

so do the person also that missing each other no matter families or partner,

so have to try not to make the self feeling and complained it in one shot,

in the end,

not just you getting down,

the person who heard it also will got hurt,

how sad is it.

I apologize here to my boy on what I had did,

my temper keep changing make you so hard to stable me back,

just the words of mine heard so wrong but you also know I never mean it,

I always say sorry not because I really did something wrong,

is I scared I accidentally make or said wrong suddenly,

I am so care of you every time,

just my the way express might be weird or different only.

p/s: thanks and I love you. :)

help !!!!

this is the reason I don't claim to have a roommate

sometimes, I think that someone can be there to always remind me to always study

but sometimes, I really need a self space by not to disturb

I don't like roommate bring someone in and talk so loud inside

even I lye down and covered myself to let them know I want to nap awhile, they also don't have any action to make their voice lower but laugh all along

I not mean can't bring back anyone back to room chit chat

but need to consider other who also in the same room

just 2 weeks only ~ how ??

p/s: lower the voice please, if not, the earphone that I wearing on will going to boom my ear already :(

18/9/2011 ❤

is there any so called second-falling-in-love?

LOL

yea ~ I think this is definitely describe what am I now

we are in the different land and can't meet in some period

but, I can feel that there is an weird atmosphere that telling me that I'm more in love with my boy

he is that cute to let me fall in love with him again

all the web-cam session seem dull but yet funny in some times

we have to glad for the person that creating such intelligent IT in this creature world

we are now so close through the internet connection

for sure something can't be perfect with just this

but there is nothing more to compare with this than everyday having deep miss with this boy

thanks again when I was having problem with the lectures and the stuffs you gave me

my life will not be complete without you

p/s: miss you so much my boy. countdown daysssss to meet you again. I lurp phew ❤

没得救！！

没得救了我~~~

是人看到我都说我在假期时， 吃得好，住得好！！

够力！！

没脸出街，有几不好意思的咯~~

p/s: 怨不得人，我自我反省意识太差！

Is time to back to real life AGAIN!!!!!

This friday is coming that soon!!
The four months holiday are going to end like it's just past four seconds
I just felt everything that happened in this considered long vacation for us gonna end that soon
Many things need to do in my last year life as an university student, its a damn hard time to pass
But I also hope that the time will also pass like this four months, then all the stresses and misses will end

Everyone will like to say that student is the best worker in the world, no need to bother about the life and can have holidays always
For sure I also will think like this, but now, the burden of FYP mKe me don't have happy mood on this feeling
If can, I would like to run away from it, everyone knows, it is impossible.
I still can't make myself balance with my new position soon in Labuan.
So difficult!!
I am that lazy and playful in this long vacation but now need to arrange all the feelings and back to study
Surrounded by friends but not families nor my love
I will always miss them so much especially middle of night, covered self with blanket and start to miss everyone that live so far away from the isolated island.
I just can't used to all these feeling every time I'm living at there
Sometimes, I just simply need a strong support from them to make me more confident and feel alive
Don't like to be a air been dumb by others and just me to live alone over there

Third year uni life will be very tough for me
I get a mate that I think can't cooperation well with me but anywhere anyhow I think it maybe can give another type of strength to make me work hard and stay strong
Need to be tough all the times if not I think I will be easily hurt by some words only
I don't want to get argued since it is already the last and the most important in my uni life I dont want it to get destroyed
Happy go lucky, hope this quote get use

Prepare stuffs that need to bring back, but my feeling not yet prepared well to leave
From now on I already that miss my boy, I miss every moment that happen everyday between us
Recently we had argues quite lots, and I know this hurt each other for sure
I don't mean to be like that for you, for sure I also know u won't too
But all those already past, we need to be stay believe in each other to make our bond stronger
Anything can get anything, I didn't force you to get something that u really unfortable or unwilling
I just will receive things that you give me when you re ready not when I request
Many times I did all these to you, and I am so wrong didn't think on your side
But all I want is just to miss you all the time with a symbolic thing beside me
Okay, I also know all theses non-alive things can't replace you or cannot be assign balance with you
I just simply need to miss you when I see it
Sorry for any hurt words that make you sad before, I didnt mean it
We both got different thinking for sure, but in the future there must be a way to make us trough a way

I am that missing you so much babe, I am that want to bring you back with me and accompany me everyday like now and previous
But just fact it won't happen in real, I am so unwilling to separate again with you, after so long of stickiness, you are very mean to me, I am so in love with you no matter in any good or bad things.

P/s: no bye and where come hi. Bye home, bye penisular and at last bye my baby, see you so soon in coming November, I will always miss you over there and love you.

18/8/2011

the last few days in office sounds so god for me

I no need to see all those staffs' faces anymore in my future

and got 1 chinese jie jie that always so nice to me in office she seems like didn't treat me eat anything, thus, this whole week lunch time always with her bring me and dad go somewhere else places that we won't go before.

is not an expensive places, not a well condition area but the foods really delicious.

whole area full with chinese since it is a Kampung Baru.

besides, I also every evening go out with my boy

I already in the ''don't-care-mind'' and go out with him

I already don't have much chances to meet with him already

for sure need to see him more often since I am still in KL

go places that we want that we still not yet go and tried all the foods that we think off before

want to fulfill all the willing things that thought before

use all the vouchers that bought

eat things that very nice to pass the time

watch movies to make the time being together longer

finding excuses to have time to meet together

now really have less and less time to meet together already

besides on want to have more time meet with my boy

I also want to stay at home longer to meet with my mother and little brother

this holiday I have less time to stay longer at home

even my mom also complain me when back home during weekend still want to go Melacca

this time although I can work till end of the month and take the full salary but seem I really lake of time to be with them, so I decided back when my contract end

back home for almost 3 weeks then back to Labuan

p/s: last time when I need to separate with my boy also sad jor few weeks, now almost is the time for my turn to back study, means we need to separate again, although very fast will meet again after 2 months but still unwilling to leave my boy, the hard feeling come up again. the boy I heart, IMY although we are still at the same places. :')

15/8/2011

long time didn't been here already.

almost is the time say ''goodbye'' to this happening West Malaysia.

the day with juong become lesser and lesser

the sad feeling come up again

I can't control all these strong feeling coming up

4 weeks left to stay here

just that few days to meet with juong

how sad, need to separate again

don't have much time to meet

don't have more chances to be together

this time, I am more reluctant juong more than my family

I had been many times having those hard feeling when leaving my family

now different, I got a lovely partner who always care me so much

is already have so less time to meet each other in a week then now I have to back to study after

back to the life as my friends that also have their partner waiting them in hometown

everyday missing them and waiting the day back home to meet each other

I am including in this category already

someone waiting for me to back

I just like the way you are

no matter what you are

no matter how people comment neither about you nor me, we still will be with each other

I know you care me very much is more than enough already

nobody know how much you gave me and nobody can judge on it

I just feel so full with it

thanks baby~

4 weeks left, I want to fully utilize the moment together with you at here

this is the last week I working here

no more weekday meet with juong in KL area

no more weekend be with each other

very very soon, we can't meet with each other already

the most thing that make me down is the pack timetable

it's squeeze my daily life in Labuan

never expect my third year still will be like this tired

very tiring to have this timetable and having the FYP at the same time

p/s: amitabhat/allah/amen, please bless me until I finish my 3 years Uni study life. thankyou first :)